rumah.

Ayah di sebelah kanan, Cik Ti di sebelah kiri. aku toleh kanan, aku toleh kiri. Ayah dan Cik Ti masing-masing masih khusyu’-tawadhu’ menampal plaster dinding dan mengikis cat lama pada dinding sebelum dicat semula. kerja-kerja penyelenggaraan ini perlu segera dihabiskan kerana berbaki kurang tujuh hari sahaja lagi penyewa baharu akan menyewa rumah berkenaan. aku bangun, keluar dari rumah sewa dan masuk ke dalam rumah aku yang hanya sebelah-menyebelah.

mak : ada apa kau balik?

aku : nak berak.

mak : haih..berak kat sana tak boleh?

aku : there’s no place like home.

emak mesin masa.

sementara menunggu surat penempatan daripada kementerian, aku kerja sambilan. tak ada apa sangat pun. pereka grafik sambilan. cari pelanggan melalui internet. kira macam orang dulu-dulu ambil upah cuci baju dari rumah ke rumah la. tapi aku ambil upah rekabentuk grafik. emel ke emel. tak boleh nak kerja tetap. kenderaan tak ada. (alasan)

mak : kau buat apa tu? mesti tengok benda tak senonoh tu. bukak pintu ni.
aku : mak ni..fitnah tu..dosa..orang cari kerja la..
mak : cari kerja dalam bilik..?

of a heart that severely damaged.

it's hard to be successful.

but it's even harder to be a pessimist.

to be a melancholy woman. 

people told me to open my eyes wide to let things go.

some people think they can

optimize mobility by modifying capacity.

it's a peculiar notion. surely, we agreed that.

purple is the colour of her heart. it is two degrees worse than blue.

i think it's time for you to go.

please......

just go.

to hear somebody you really really love screaming in pain,

literally, first thing in the morning

wasn't a nice activity in the weekend.

just in case you know the meaning of love.

one fine day, she told me that she wants to be alone. it'll much better than has a spouse but lonely.

she's so...














hollow.

the end of a cold war.

it has been more than ten years. if i have to start this year by living in two different houses of a family, i'll make it. if that is the only way out, i'm alright. to see her once-in-ten-years smile, i am gratified. time made her older and colder. and weaker. ten years is not a short time for her, You know. are You going to test her any longer? she once said she can hardly pray with khusyu' in ten years time. i'm afraid she'll lose her faith in You. and You know, You almost made me too.