ringgit itu rezeki. tetapi cinta itu juga rezeki.

bukan banyak yang aku kejar. aku cuma mahu cukup.

apapun, kita dapat seberapa dan sesiapa yang selayaknya kita dapat.

listen.

so kids will listen to you.

happy teacher's day.

pandangan kita adalah di mana kita berada.

kau cerita pung pang pung pang masa kau duduk kat kerusi sebelah pemandu tu bukan main lagi. hakikatnya, bila kau duduk kat kerusi pemandu, situasinya 110% berbeza daripada apa yang kau bayangkan. sebab apa? sebab bila kau duduk kat kerusi sebelah tu, yang kau buat cuma cakap. cakap cakap cakap. 

cakap

cakap

cakap lagi.

kat kerusi pemandu, kau bukan setakat kena perhati betul-betul apa yang kau nampak, tapi kena fikir dan kena dengar. termasuklah dengar apa yang orang kat kerusi sebelah pemandu tu pung-pang-kan. yang paling serius, kau kena bertindak. cepat.

chasing tomorrow in a haze of life.

when a pessimist wishes that tomorrow could wait for him,

an optimist waits for tomorrow.

when a pessimist waits for tomorrow,

an optimist chases tomorrow.

we don’t get easily fooled after we see something with our own eyes. (part 2)

there is another person replied my comment. i replied his message not to make him understand because i knew from his first message that he knows the full story but intentionally telling lies. but i did it in hope i can tell the whole truth and shape the consciousness among other readers.

he : It is beyond idiotic to call this development. In truth it is the opposite- destruction. 

And do you seriously think it benefits the community?? The palm oil owners are filthy rich, the workers are hardly paid enough to eat on a daily basis.Their drinking water is polluted, the air is filthy of smoke from the factory,and from the constant burning of rain forest. These are natives that once lived happily of the land,consuming only what they needed for survival, and now they have been forced from their homes into servitude for a handful of disgusting Chinese capitalists that have bribed the forestry department to be allowed to cut down every last tree left standing. To be clear - it is not benefiting the community,not benefiting the people, and it is certainly not development. I spent the last month on Borneo talking to villagers, and seeing the destruction with my own eyes. 

I know they don`t teach you about this stuff in Malaysia...but take the time to open your eyes, and learn about how your country is failing its responsibilities to nature,and to its people.

me : and what do you do to make things better? wait! i'm so sorry but i think you've got me wrong. please read my comment for Ashok Joshi. of course, i despise those people who made the so called development in my own land. even though your comment is quite out of focus which is generally about the environment pollutions, they are true. and i’m disgusted with the way it happens. but what am i saying is about the purpose of this issue which is to talk down to palm oil.

sorry about my bad english. 'they are true' in the above sentence referred to the environment pollutions that happens in some places in Malaysia. not all the statements that the guy gave. anyway, it is certainly out of the question of this issue.

he : I guess I do what I can...I help spread awarness, I`ve contributed money towards campaigns against palm oil importers, I check the label of everything I buy to make sure there is no palm oil, I have been volunteering for animal charities...If people decrease their demand for palm oil products, and the "BIOFUELS" are made irrelevant then the general demand for Palm oil would be drastically cut,and there would be a chance of preserving what little is left of the forest.

me : so, what sort of vegetable oil will the local people consume and at the same time preserving forest? corn oil? flower seed oil? what oil? see, that’s the point. it’s not about WHAT we plant, but HOW we plant. when-exactly-did you live in borneo? for your information, we’re no longer do deforestation. what we do now is replantation. cut down old oil palms that are no longer productive, and plant the new ones WITHOUT CUT DOWN ANY SINGLE TREE IN THE FOREST. i’m sorry to say that you have to accept that your opinion is so last century. and about the biofuels that we made from palm oiI, i bet you’ll crawl to my country one day when the amount of petroleum left down there is not even one drop. from all your answers, beyond the shadow of a doubt i believe you are the ‘certain group of people’ that I mean.

you act like you really care about the forest. of course you care. care about the forest by denying human right. my country produce palm oil that is far cry cheaper than other vegetable oil on earth which be the most affordable vegetable oil to people in many poor countries and developing countries. by producing palm oil, my country can always help them. see, you don’t care about poor people because you're not poor (i believe) and you don't know how does it feel to be poor. in fact, you don’t even care about the forest. the thing is, you are afraid of your own shadow.

emak mesin masa.

sementara menunggu surat penempatan daripada kementerian, aku kerja sambilan. tak ada apa sangat pun. pereka grafik sambilan. cari pelanggan melalui internet. kira macam orang dulu-dulu ambil upah cuci baju dari rumah ke rumah la. tapi aku ambil upah rekabentuk grafik. emel ke emel. tak boleh nak kerja tetap. kenderaan tak ada. (alasan)

mak : kau buat apa tu? mesti tengok benda tak senonoh tu. bukak pintu ni.
aku : mak ni..fitnah tu..dosa..orang cari kerja la..
mak : cari kerja dalam bilik..?

blasphemy.

one evening, i texted my friend. my old friend.

me : have you ever read about magnetic pole reversal?

he : yes.

me : this is crazy.

he : there has been snow in indonesia. malaysia (must be snow) one of these days.

me : i don’t like snow.

he : i can’t stand cold weather.

me : the doomsday is coming.

he : yup.

me : i’m scared...

he : (you ought to) believe the doomsday.

"are you trying to be stupid? you’re not trying to be stupid? good. no wonder. you don’t have to try. you just be. of course i believe, you daft. otherwise, i’m not scared.". i nearly said that but i did not. 

me : but what do we do for the preppers?

he : plant dates.

me : ?

he : you search on google later. plant dates and the good things about it.

me : i’m talking about the preparation for the (life after) death. we don’t live (in this world) after this.

he : yup. it will explain. do find (the article) until you found it.

"you asked me to read and believe all those masonic ideas who believe the life after death will be in the same world as we live in right now? have you completely lost your mind?". instead of replied that, i grit my teeth and ended the conversation by shutting down google chrome window.

i had to read his texts twice maybe more for i couldn't believe my eyes. blimey! he's a Muslim! how could a Practicing Muslim man talked like that...? a Muslim who believe the doomsday but don’t believe the life after death as in Islamic way is no better than those who don’t believe the doomsday at all. i know i shouldn't let my anger grow up inside of me. i should help him. i must.

o’ Allah…is this what you call the fitnah of masih ad-dajjal...? help me please to help this friend of mine...

we don’t get easily fooled after we see something with our own eyes.

well, you read that title?

http://www.karenstan.net/2013/12/03/say-palm-oil/?fb_comment_id=fbc_185526978318521_294241_185556648315554#fbd2c330c

i said,  "there's nothing to do with palm oil. every development needs sacrifice. it can be thousands of birds lost their homes just to make way for your wheat fields. so, would you stop consume wheat after this?"

then, someone had replied, "its avarice not hunger that makes human to ravage animal kingdom,we can live happily without eating them or harming them."

Tanah Melayu is my only home. i would fight and defend for her in my very own way no matter how bad other people try to put us down. so, i told him "exactly true. but you’re really out of question. this issue is political. palm oil is quite cheap compared to other vegetable oil. there’s certain group of people made an issue of palm oil purposely and talk down to it. therefore, people would boycott palm oil and only use local products which might be olive oil, corn oil or flower seed oil. why don’t you see a picture of thousands of orang utans died in this article? in fact, the orang utans are accidentally killed one in a thousands times. i said, before they ‘care enough’ about the orang utans, they should first care about thousands of birds and lizards and snakes and whatever organisms that they had killed to make their corn fields."

i love all languages.

i love Malay. i love Hebrew. i love Lithuanian, Romanian, and Persian. but sometimes i despise broken language or the Malay call it bahasa rojak for it may cause confusion and misunderstanding. bahasa means language while rojak is a kind of dish like salad. they got the idea to call it that way because rojak is prepared by mixing a variety of types of vegetables and juicy fruits.


please note the difference between the four types of broken language in Malay :-

bahasa pasar – bahasa (language) pasar (market) is a spoken language in daily conversations. it doesn’t contain harsh words yet unallowed be used in formal written stuff.

bahasa rojak – Malay mixed with another language/s. there are two types of bahasa rojak. some speakers use Malay mixed occasionally with some words in other language. another one is use Malay words entirely in the form of sentence structure of other language. it happens if you translate word for word from your mother tongue into Malay.

bahasa samseng – bahasa (language) samseng (thug) contains harsh words with horrible form of sentence structure.

bahasa sms – the use of bahasa sms suits its name since sms stands for Short Message System. we shorten the word by removing certain vowels (usually ‘a’) or/and double consonants. for example, makan (eat) change into mkn, dengan (with) to dgn, menggunakan (using) to mngunakn and garpu (fork) to grpu. so, you can write 'makan dengan menggunakan sudu dan garpu' (eat by using spoon and fork) as 'mkn dgn mngunakn sudu & grpu'. anyway, you may minimize the spelling as long as your receiver could understand. it depends to whom you write. 

the life's chiefest glory is to be a muslim.

of a heart that severely damaged.

it's hard to be successful.

but it's even harder to be a pessimist.

to be a melancholy woman. 

people told me to open my eyes wide to let things go.

some people think they can

optimize mobility by modifying capacity.

it's a peculiar notion. surely, we agreed that.

bunga telur.

“bukannya nak makan sangat pun telur tu…bunga tu pun, bukan dibuat apa pun lepas ni…tapi boleh kecil hati kalau tak dapat.” sambil duduk di ruang tamu, ayah membelek-belek bunga telur yang diperoleh di rumah pengantin yang dia pergi semalamnya.

ayah sibuk bercerita perihal keistimewaan menerima bunga telur terutamanya bagi masyarakat Melayu era pra iphone. saat-saat bunga telur paling bernilai adalah sewaktu tetamu meninggalkan kawasan rumah pengantin dan berjalan menuju ke motor atau motokar atau rumah jika rumahnya terletak berdekatan. berjalan pulang sambil membawa bunga telur dari rumah pengantin dan dilihat orang sekeliling merupakan suatu kemegahan buat si tetamu tersebut.

sesekali apabila ayah senyap, aku mencelah merancakkan rentak perbualan. bunga telur juga melambangkan darjat keakraban seseorang tetamu dengan si pengantin kerana cuma tetamu-tetamu tertentu sahaja yang menerimanya sementara yang lain cuma menerima telur yang mungkin diletakkan di dalam bekas kotak kad atau uncang fabrik sifon atau apa-apa sahaja bekas kecil. ramai orang ada masalah untuk membezakan antara harga dan nilai. harga bunga telur mungkin saja paling mahal tidak jejak Ringgit Malaysia lima per tangkai tetapi nilai dan sentimen yang terdapat padanya cuma boleh dirasai oleh orang yang memahami falsafah bunga telur itu sendiri.

******************************************************

“telur itu simboliknya memanjangkan zuriat. orang zaman sekarang, beri gula-gula. gula-gula dimakan, sampah dibuang merata-rata. haa itulah puncanya habis madu sepah dibuang.” suara seorang pensyarah falsafah seni sewaktu aku di kampus dahulu tiba-tiba bergema dalam ruang tamu.

This is your paracetamol. Take it, chew and swallow.

Wise says, "people will hate you, rate you, shake you, and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you". 

 

It's your own principle,

and your own rule, 

make them strong,

 so they'll follow you. 

Be good to yourself. Put back your smile please.

=)

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by, 
And that has made all the difference.

 ...

Perhaps you have seen this poem in literature book, or perhaps you not. I can't recall which form did I learn these before, as I aren't paying much attention back then. But somehow, lately.., the last three rows  in this poem keep haunting me, as if someone keep whispering.., again and again, by my ears...

And, here is me - googling back the poem while writing this.

No no no. It's not the ghost...nothing like that ever happen. 

It is me - the inner me, who is keep rebelling. How can I remember those words? me myself didn't know either. Perhaps my Mr. Brain did his job well in this situation. heh. 

Yes, I had took a wrong path before. Totally wrong path, or way, or road.., or whatever it should be called. It pretty much bothers me right now.
Actually it is not only now I regret, it is throughout the way. I kept hesitating, stopping and sobbing. How can me myself choose this cruel road - damn stupid me!

We have took a path together at first, we did found that diverged road and there, we parted the different way. I do love challenge road, really! but in the middle.., I realize.., it means nothing without you. Only because we can not do the same road, that stupid me made me neglecting you. 

Did you know? It is not only the empty gap which increasing amongst us, there is also the empty heart going along together. If only...yup...if only.., back then, I revealed down some of my ego...=.='

...

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

 

Those words keep haunting me again!

I always hope, along my way.., that our road would meet again.., someday.
And there, we would happily going through this journey together - shoulder to shoulder.
Laughing at all bad memories. Keep singing and humming the same song. Act like nothing ever happen. 
 

Hey. You know what? while googling earlier, I also found this;

Is it a good sign? :)

reflect before be refracted.

i am Fantaghirò.

no no no you missed the point. not the beautiful part.

but the impatient, cruel, rebellious, disobedient.

sometimes i am tough enough.

sometimes i get weak. i get stuck. and i get lost.

but that doesn't really matter

'cause i live with my determination and courage.

i follow my instinct which makes me never be alone.

but then i see, my arrogant has stop people from loving me.

once again. i apologize.

entri ini dikarang pada 25 mei 2011. benarkah penulis yang telah mengarangnya?

kawan 1 : aku hormat orang yang hormat aku.

kawan 2 : aku hormat orang yang tahu hormat orang tuanya.

kawan 3 : aku hormat orang yang bagus-bagus.

aku : aku hormat orang yang sedar apa perlu dibuat setelah dihormati.

p/s : entri yang songsang dengan mood semasa penulis. sedang mencari ketenangan. mungkin saja ada di celah-celah cirrocumulus. ah! biarkan. biarkan dia serap dan terus larut dalam cirrocumulus. nanti malam kalau hujan turun, boleh juga aku dapat barang seteguk dua jus ketenangan tu, siapa tahu..

people are people. sometimes we would like to hear a social critics. so here i tell.....

he who sees the chance is the one who seeks the chance.

so kid..don't be too cynical

because someday your cynicism will eat you alive.

You may say I'm a pessimist.

Some scared about the future

Some scared about the past

But I'm scared about the future and the past

For the future I am too blind to see

And the past I can never ever fix.

You may say I'm a pessimist. I am, in this case. How can you be so sure that your good deeds have been accepted and your sins have been forgiven by Him? I left you to think it over...

kanak-kanak

sewaktu aku kanak-kanak,
aku fikir aku akan jadi kanak-kanak selamanya.
tapi sebenarnya tidak.

bila aku sudah dewasa,
aku fikir aku akan jadi tua.
tapi sebenarnya belum tentu.

aku hairan

aku hairan kenapa manusia memilih untuk mendengar hanya daripada satu mulut,

sedangkan mereka diberi dua belah telinga.

aku hairan kenapa manusia memilih untuk memandang hanya pada satu sudut,

sedangkan mereka diberi dua belah mata.

p/s : kau memang boleh aku panggil kawan pasal kau tak termasuk dalam manusia yang aku maksudkan. senyum sikit. :)